Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Redwood: Your Friendly Neighborhood Bar

Living in the heart of Capitol Hill you tend to do two things: drink and eat. That's it. If you can kill two birds with one stone, even better. With that said, it's kind of nice being able to sink in to your favorite neighborhood bar where you can drink like a sailor, where everyone is dingy and dirty and you can even eat something that sort of resembles the people. You are what you eat, to some extent. Casual bar setting with scrump de la scrump comfort food.
Long and behold, The Redwood. Located in an awkard street in the weird part of Belmont Avenue (it sort of cuts off), the Redwood has taken Capitol Hill by storm, but it's too cool for school to let the jocks and UW District infiltrates take up any of its seating. A little discriminatory, but one wants to see your "Vote For Pedro" shirts here. Every so often, you see the bro-down go down, but it's not that kind of bar. They will eventually go back to Tommy's or Dante's.

Sure everyone is raving about the free peanuts and how you can throw them on the floor like it aint' no thang, but that's just half the rage. Try the Bourbon Sweet Tea (I personally don't like it, because me and Bourbon don't mesh), but it's the cutest thing ever. They have little boot shaped glasses! They are so cute in fact, that I know a certain somebody who stole two of them. Yeah, it's like that. Aside from the reasonably priced drinks, are the even more reasonably priced food menu.

Don't even get me started. After you eat at the Redwood you'll feel a little guilty, and sort of feel like you're going to get a heart attack, but it's a heart attack well worth it. After the Capitol Hill Block Party on Saturday July 29th...I was high as a fucking kite, and really wasted. When I'm high, I'm hungry. Anyway, so me and a couple of pals in the midst of our inebriation decided to take it down a notch. What better way to do so then to fill up your belly with some good ol' comfort food.

Comfort food is definitely the Redwood's forte. For under $11 I got...the green bean casserole, sweet potato fries, and deep fried sweet corn nuggets. Great finger foods to share with your friends. I felt like a lard ball right after, but damn, it was good. Nothing better than alleviating your drunken stupor with a face full of fatty foods. And since Seattle is known for its snobby "I don't eat meat" fad, the Redwood can accomodate the dietary guidelines of the non-meat population.

My friend Sheena ordered the grilled cheese sandwich with sweet potato fries. Only the best grilled cheese sandwich ever. Grilled to perfection, buttery and crisp, and a slice of tomato in the middle for that fresh and juicy contrast. The green bean casserole is a slop mess of pure deliciousness. Canned green beans, mixed in a mushroom cream sauce, and topped with crunchy french onion flakes. The sweet corn nuggets is probably my favorite item on the menu. It's horrible for you, and with each bite your health diminishes, but again, it's worth it. You just pop them in your mouth and you can't help but cum in your pants just a little bit.

The ambiance in this bar is spectacular. It's a hunting evergreen theme, sort of a tribute to the Pacific NW. They have antlers for the chandeliers, vintage owl lamps, and all sorts of decorative touches that could be found in my Uncle Buck's cabin in Enumclaw (if I had an Uncle Buck, and if I was white). The bathrooms have tree stumps for side tables, and the wall art is from the shooting range of deers and bears. It's cabin like charm is what really makes people remember this place.

I've had many drunken nights at this bar, and the best part about it is after last call I don't have to drive drunk. It's just a five minute walk to my humble abode. Overall, the Redwood is a must go! But do beware, there is one cranky bartender there. I don't know his name, but I try my best not to order from him because he scares me.

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